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Noordam 11-13-10 through 11-19-10
By Milt Abel | November 19, 2010
| November 19, 2010Noordam 11/13/10 to 11/19/10
The Ft Lauderdale cruise terminal was busy with ships, Saturday November 13th. I had arrived in the port the day before on the Holland America Statendam, overnighted, then joined the Noordam, which was docked along with Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas, Holland America’s Eurodam and Westerdam, A Princess Ship, two Navy ships, and the Allure of the Seas -the world’s largest cruise ship, was just outside the harbor, waiting to re-berth (it was there the day before) and get ready for its maiden voyage, once the Oasis of the Seas (second largest ship) pulled out. I did the Welcome Aboard Show that night and commented on all the ships present, and one that was, jokingly, supposed to be there.
Heavily played in the recent news cycle was the story of the Carnival Splendor, a cruise ship doing, I assume, the Mexican Riviera -who knows because they certainly didn’t go everywhere they planned. The ship had a major electrical failure and was pretty near dead in the water for almost three days. They had to be towed into port in San Diego. I had friends on board and through Facebook there was little news about the ordeal they went through, which makes me think that conditions weren’t that bad. If there’s one thing entertainers can do on cruise ships with their tremendous amount of free time, it’s complain. But it was so heavily played in the news the audience had to be hyper aware of the story so I mentioned it in the show. Give it a listen…
splendor joke
When I overnighted between ships in Ft Lauderdale I made the trip from my hotel to the Shereton Beach Resort’s bar, the Yankee Clipper to see the mermaid show. The bar has been featured in movies for decades. Darker Than Amber and Analyze This are just two that come to mind; it’s the dark bar with windows into the pool, and you can see people swimming by while your swim through your martinis. Every Friday there’s a show and I thought it would be kitschy fun to see. It was kind of disappointing really. Not that different from someone walking by a window to the bar on a sidewalk; you’re drinking your draft beer and suddenly someone silently comes up to the window and waves at you, sure, in this case they are underwater and wearing a mermaid tail, but I still felt awkward as to wether I should wave back or not. I’m sure I would have had more fun if I had brought my swimsuit and jumped in, though I’d probably get off from any more drinks after that.
As I write this I’m up in the Lido restaurant of the Noordam. It’s Friday in Curacao, shortly before noon and I’m due to be picked up on the pier by the port agent and shuttled off the airport. The weather, as it has on all our port calls this cruise, save Samana, is turning cloudy and dark, and rain looks to imminent. I wonder if by unintended consequence, some of the older passengers in their shuffling late-night dancing in the disco are executing a rain dance, and Mother Nature is a sucker for a that sort of thing, even if it’s to a Lady Gaga tune.
The Curacao airport turns out to be anti-climatic. I wasn’t expecting much anyway, but it is as unassuming as a traffic sign; the bare minimum to allow transit. If you’re traveling from Curacao by plane I recommend you spend as much time anywhere else, and dash to the airport last minute, sliding in like a baseball player stretching a double to a triple: never make the last out at third, and never miss your plane in Curacao, it’d mean even more time at the airport.
My last night on board the Noordam I volunteered to participate in the parlor-game-turned-small-venue-show, the Liar’s Club. I rarely do this type of thing anymore. I used to do it every cruise I was on with Norwegian Cruise Lines years ago, so I have lots of experience, and I enjoy the challenge of thinking up something funny to put in front of an audience that night. What I didn’t plan on was the cruise director forgetting that several hundred people were doing back-to-back cruises and they had seen the words and definitions I has spent all morning writing humorous lies about. 90 minutes before the show he changed all the words and we stilled pulled of a funny show. Glen, the cruise director, and Alyson, the librarian, were both funny and easily held their own in getting laughs.
A favorite lie of mine for Liar’s Club:
“Before becoming a stand-up comic I was in a combination traveling circus and accounting service. Basically it was a bunch of clowns juggling books.”
Topics: comedy | No Comments »