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Traveling to Israel 10-8-09
By Milt Abel | October 11, 2009
| October 11, 2009I got on board the Prinsendam about seven hours ago, and after a light meal and tons of water -flying in passenger jets dehydrates you, it’s something to do with the circulated air and pressure changes -I slept for about five hours until the ship started to shake and shudder alarmingly. I’m at the very end of the ship on deck six and the propeller vibration works like a fruit tree shaker in my cabin; rattles and clanking and creaking, the upside was I could pick the fruit right off the carpet rather than use the ladder.
When I was in the Frankfurt airport and entered the cordoned-off area for my Tel Aviv flight the level of security jumped noticeably. A guard with a machine gun looked bored as a team of screeners patted down and metal-detector wanded each of us individually. They were not shy. The wand was pressed into my crotch in case I tried to hide something under my scrotum like I do when I visit the dentist. Once at Tel Aviv airport the security was closer to what I’ve seen elsewhere.
I got worried when my contact/driver wasn’t where I was informed he would be, which was before customs, so he could shepherd me through the process. I was pulled from the line by a security guard as he checked my papers in an office and then he asked a couple question just outside its door.
“You’re a comedian?”
“Yes”
“You’re not Jerry Seinfeld?”
“No. But I wish I was.”
Not the truth, but a mild enough joke to make him smile and let me through.
Outside the secure area, among family members with welcoming balloons, my driver waited with a sign with my name on it and no balloons. He was perhaps one of the least talkative cab driver (we got in cab for the 100 km drive to Haifa) I’ve ever had. I mentioned to him it was my first time to Israel and he didn’t offer any explanations or descriptions or soothing assurances whatsoever. It’s been my experience over the years that telling a local driver it’s your first time somewhere opens the floodgates of conversation, perhaps the only other opening line that works better is “I have lots of money I don’t want.” But he, who looked a lot like Zero Mostel, remained quiet for the next eighty minutes. More security at the pier, I was asked a lot of casual questions by a young gal as a more serious security male looked on. I know this is a screening process to try and see signs of lying -I made sure to uncross my fingers through the interview.
Topics: comedy, cruise ship, humor, travel | No Comments »